How to Heal Relationships with the Hawaiian Prayer

How to Heal Relationships with the Hawaiian Prayer
by Carol E. Richardson, M.Div., MPH

The Hawaiian prayer has become one of my favorite tools for helping my clients. I recommend it because I have personally found it has healed dysfunctional work relationships, family relationships and increased my income. There are no limits to what the Hawaiian Prayer can be used to heal.

The Hawaiian prayer became famous through the story of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, who used the prayer as a psychologist at the Hawaii State Hospital for the criminally insane. Len used the Hawaiian prayer on himself and ended up curing the whole ward full of criminally insane patients, without ever seeing any of them.

On the surface, the Hawaiian Prayer is very simple: “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.”

The reason this prayer is so effective is that it is based on certain spiritual principles: that we are all one on the soul level; that we are responsible for what is happening in our lives; and that healing the outer manifestation of our lives depends on healing our own internal issues.

The idea of our oneness makes all the difference in the world, for we are connected through the conscious energy of our souls, and the Higher Power of which we are all a part.

To employ the Hawaiian Prayer, we first address our Creator, with gratitude for this opportunity to heal this issue, or to heal this issue between ourselves and someone else. Next, we ask this Higher Consciousness: “What is my part in this?”

This internal reflection is essential for our own inner transformation, and the concomitant outer transformation of our relationships. One way to get a sense of our own inner contribution to the issue is to reflect on the principle of the spiritual mirror in relationships.

The way I like to express the principle of the spiritual mirror in relationships is like this: If someone else has said or done something, and if we feel upset about it, then we have a matching vibration in ourselves that needs to heal or clear. The matching vibration might be the same exact issue such as selfishness, or it may be the mirror-opposite, such as selfishness and failure to consider oneself as important.

Once we become aware what our part in the issue has been, we pray in our heads, while visualizing the person and saying their name. For instance, one might pray, “Jack, I’m sorry I forgot to get you those postcards; I was so focused on what was important to me that I forgot what was important to you. Please forgive me, I love you, I’m sorry.”

We continue to pray the Hawaiian Prayer until we feel clear, and feel unconditional love in the situation, or for the person. Since unconditional love is what unites us in Oneness, we need to continue doing the prayer until we feel the love flow. We can try praying several different ways, to make sure that the issue is cleared. For instance, we can pray, “Andrea, I’m sorry I put you last behind everything I cared about; please forgive me; I love you; thank you. Andrea, I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention to what’s important to you; please forgive me; I love you; thank you. Andrea, I’m sorry I put my own feelings first without really considering how you felt; please forgive me; I love you; thank you.” The more ways we address our own inner issue as it affects others, the more thoroughly the issue will clear.

It’s important to remember that we are addressing the person as their soul, not their ego. We may not like their ego at all, but all our souls are of love and light, and on the soul level, we all really do love each other. It is our responsibility to ask forgiveness and to change all that we have said and done that has blocked the flow of that unconditional love. As we unblock the flow of divine love to others, we unblock the flow of love to ourselves as well.

As we choose to accept responsibility for our own experiences, including the behavior of others toward us, we realize that there is no one else to forgive, for on the level of ego, we blocked the divine flow. Once we unblock that flow, grace abounds for us all.

It is important to notice that the Hawaiian Prayer ends with gratitude. We cannot clear ourselves unless we are grateful for the other person’s soul and for their forgiveness. We are also expressing gratitude to our Source for the whole process of forgiveness and healing.

Central to healing our relationships is noticing whether we are remembering each person’s original innocence as divine soul. If we become aware that we have been focusing on another person’s ego self rather than on their soul self, then we need to ask forgiveness. Signs of focusing on other people’s ego rather than their souls include a lack of trust in them, anger, resentment or fear.

The Hawaiian Prayer helps us grow spiritually, heal our relationships and transform our lives. What a great tool for bringing more love and light into ourselves and our relationships.

Carol E. Richardson, M.Div., MPH, of Highest Harmony Healing and Coaching, is a body-mind-spirit coach, mystic healer, speaker and author, based in Rockville, MD. To contact her, call 269-365-8939, email Carol.Dodson.Richardson@gmail.com or visit HighestHarmony.Guru.

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